"Imagine, for example, a substance with 100 times the strength of steel, yet only 1/6 the weight; materials that instantly heal themselves when punctured; surfaces that can "feel" the forces pressing on them; wires and electronics as tiny as molecules; structural materials that also generate and store electricity; and liquids that can instantly switch to solid and back again at will. All of these materials exist today ... and more are on the way." -- Nasa website published this on 16th Sep 2002 (http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2002/16sep_rightstuff.htm)

Wondering how little we know. :) Yes, thats fascinating, isnt it?

Take a look at the world's fastest Supercomputer's statistics here.

This is not a single computer. Instead, its a "super cluster". But, unlike other clustered computers, this one has "two independent 1 Tbyte disk systems". :)

Take a look at the full article: http://www.intel.com/technology/itj/q11998/articles/art_1.htm

Oh, almost forgot, the Super Computer takes a space of 1,600 square feet. :)

How numbers can be amaziing:

1. Date of attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
2. Place of attack 1: WTC Building = 11 letters
3. City of attack: New York City = 11 letters
4. Place of attack 2: The Pentagon = 11 letters
5. Who attacked: Afganistan = 11 letters
6. The first plane that hit: Flight number 11
7. Number of people in Flight 11: 92 - 9 + 2 = 11
8. Sept. 11 is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
9. 2nd city of attack: Washington DC = 11 letters
10. 119 is Iraq's internal area code: 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
11. The twin tower looks like 11.

Now, this everyone has seen a lot of times. But, here is a weird one by me, see if you can anticipate:

The number 11 has two digits, 1 and 1. These two digits are the vital numbers of Fibonacci Numbers. We all know how powerfull Fibonacci Numbers are. Nature can be difined in a weird way with this Fibonacci Numbers. Check: http://www.mcs.surrey.ac.uk/Personal/R.Knott/Fibonacci/fibnat.html.

You can call it a "Organised Chaos". That's exactly what nature is.

Now, if I say that you can start with this September 11 incident and daw an entire spiral of history to get the reason why this has happened, then would you believe me? If I say, this can very well be proven with maths, with Fibinacci Numbers, then would you believe me?

Isnt it funny how life changes before your eyes, what you think you know or whom you seem to know all of a sudden is totally new to you.... I guess you can call it a phase or whatever but sometimes I wish we would be the same and never change but then I guess our lives would be monotonous...But always a question rises up before us and thats a BIG FAT..... WHY?????? WHY THIS? WHY THAT? WHY COULDNT? WHY SHOUDLNT?and blah blah...

I hope that maybe one day we could come up with the answer to all thoses WHY's so that life wouldnt be so GOD damn complicated all the time.... what you say ;)....

Today the personal trainer at my gym calculated the FAT in my body. And, I was shocked to know the statistics. I have 32% FAT in my body. And, that comes upto 26.5 kgs of FAT!!! I am so busted.

Gotta workout hard. Its the result of sitting down on my butt for the past 4 years.

I remember, I used to run in the morning or do some sort of excercise or even cycle rugularly. All stopped. I dunno why, but stopped.

Maybe its time the old Zia comes back....

Have you ever been flooded with selfless love towards you from your friends and family? Have you?

I realised something today. If love comes knocking your door, please don't neglect and throw it away. Its rare to have people's love coming to you uninvited.

I am talking about small and simple caring from your friends and families. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with life and work that we hardly can notice what we are missing.

What is it about to keep on breathing in this mysterious world? What is the goal for each and every human being? Is it just to earn enough money so that you can buy luxury and enjoy(??) life? Is it because you are just doing things 'cause you have been told to? What is it all about? I know, I know... you probably will come up with lotsa theory, like the way everyone sees life is relative and it depends on each and everyone's views... blah blah blah... But, hey if I ask you to give me an answer that satisfies everyone, would you be able to come up with that answer? Probably not. Neither can I.

That's why this little question to all of you from me: "what is it about that we are breathing and living here for?"

I know I ask stupid questions. But, they are questions. I ask questions that I can't find answers to.

I thought I would answrr this question with "love". But, later realised that love vanishes from a hungry human being's eyes... There are thousands and thousands of people in this world who doesn't get to eat properly, they surely don't have that part of their brain working which make us afford to think about love. These people goes to sleep thinking what he/she is going to do to get some food for the next day. And, by the time they get the food and feed their children and themselves, they are too tired to think of love. But, yet when they are not hungry, do they think of love? I don't know. Do you?

Sometimes, I think, sitting here thinking about all these makes me one those who really isn't doing anything about it. I know there are people who are on their foot to do something about it. I am surely inferior to them. I acknowledge that boldly. I am just guy who is too afraid to come out my cosy shell and face the world, I am too scared to take the risk of loosing everything in exchange of others happiness. Yet, I am here rambling about it. That makes me a perfect useless piece-o-sh$t.

Thumbs up to those who were able to come out of their shell to help others.

I was just listening to a song which opened my mind. Yes. It did open my mind completely.

I don't know how, but my views were getting polluted by some filthy ideology. If I didn't listen to this song then I would be choosing the wrong way in my life and I would be making a BIG mistake in my life.

Thank you God (if you exist). I will follow what just came to me all of a sudden and opened my mind wide open.

Lately, I was just wondering that how much does it take to prepare for a perfect "life" that does not suck.

As always, I am ambitious. But, sometimes I just get frustrated thinking how others achieve it How they start toward the journey? How do they prepare themselves? Is there a secret recipe for it?

I don't know. Anybody knows.

If you have successfull "Life", then how did you get there?

"here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?"

Yeah, thats like it. From now on "my 2 cents" will evolve into "my 10 cents". 'Cause, "my 2 cents" always goes free now a days.

Stupid me!!! Always fall for the most common traps that people prepare for me. I thought I was wanted, I thought I was welcomed cause they really meant it. But, as usual its not that. "Selfish reason" is always a factor if someone calls you and invites you.

Maybe, I am paranoid. But, if you get to realise that people want something from you and thats the reason they are welcoming you then what do you do? Do you just be honest and slap the truth on their face or you tactically prove it to him/her that "it aint't right to use people"? You don't have to give me an answer.

But, think about it. How many of your friends are real friends? How many of your real friends are doing something for you thinking of nothing in return? I mean the thought of getting something in return did not even cross their mind when they want you around. I find a few, in fact I can't count after 2/3.

Maybe I was expecting from the wrong kinda friends. Or, maybe I am unlucky to get aquinted with these kinda friends. Maybe, I don't see the bright side of it. Maybe, I am too passimistic to judge the good side of it.

Call me anything you like, but I still would prefer those friends who give themselves for you 'cause they feel it in their heart that they are your frineds. If the number of these kinda friend is "One", I don't mind living my whole life having this one friend only.

If you have been given two options below, which one would you choose:

1. Nice work environment, mediocre room and lotsa normal technology but less challenges. At one point the job gets a bit boring. Boss hardly understands what you are talking about. But, you can have your own world ruled out by yourself. Have a flexibility in your working style. You are the boss in your department cause there is no one else to compete. The pay is mediocre.

2. Not so nice work environment, no room to yourself. But, lots and lots of new technology coming to you to play. The job has full of challenges and surprises. You got a competitor. Boss is also technical. At least he understands when you say "there was a tcp timeout". You have all the oppurtunities to play with whetever you like. I.E., you rule out your own projects, sometimes some projects are assigned to you which are not so difficult for you to do. Sometimes, there are challenges that runs the butterflies in your stomach and your heart pounds of excitment. The pay is mediocre.

"You have to take the world as you face it, you cannot have the world as you wish it" - this epigram should be written in BIG letters and pasted on my wall. Even then, maybe, I won't have the sanity in me.

(The epigram is by CEO of GE. Not sure, whether its his own or not, but heard it in his interview)

"Superficial Congeniality" - is the notion of having "false kindness" toward a loosing company. This means, if a company is loosing and the owners say "ehhh lets keep it" - thats where "superficial congeniality" comes in. Instead of keeping a loosing company, its better to merge it or to abundone it and use whatever capital to start fresh.

These words that I wrote here just came in my head after listening to the CEO of GE. Its amazing how intelligent these guys are. There's so much to learn from them.

I don't know whether its good or bad, but sometimes I do let my emotions and imaginations take over my brains. Maybe, because I am almost 99.99% of my time using my brain. Brain is a really complicated area of science. I get amazed by its capabilities, variations and mostly the way it works. Science still could not figure out completely how this small 'body part' of human being work.

If anybody is wondering by now, how does this brain do all these things in all these different ways, and wondering how does the mechanism work, then you can visit: http://www.vh.org/adult/provider/anatomy/BrainAnatomy/Ch1Text/Section02.html. <== if you have a soft heart (well, less tolerability) on visual images of anatomical human body, then please don't go there.

I have always had this huge interest on human brain, how it really works and all. I vaguely know its all eletromegnatic pulses. In simple english, electromagnetic pulses roaming through neuron cells in the brain causes us to do what we do. So simple, yet so hard to understand and believe. But, amazingly these electromagnetic pulses cannot work solo, they have to work in a team to do something sensible. So, the concept of "neuron union" can be implied here. If you are really keen to know, go here to get an overview: http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Social/Original/s00001d.html and http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Social/Original/s00012d.html.

While I was talking to my buddy Saif today, he made me realise something. Something that I would never really want to think about. That, "I am old". I am getting old. I am almost there to say "sayonara". While it seemed to me that he is just trying to ignite a good start for himself, I felt like I have already been there, done those. Back when I was in the university with him, when he was busy discovering the "wonders" of life, I was then thinking about how to become like those who zooooms on the road with their cars. Not that my father didn't have any car, or I was living a poor life, but, I had this "anger", this "passion" in me of doing something, of being someone, for owning something by myself... Maybe, I pushed myself toward the edge too much, and I never cared what was happening around me, because, I had to just reach there. But, now at this point of my life, I realise, I didn't do anything wrong, that was what I supposed to do. Maybe, I could have taken the easiest possible way that came to me and get there the easiest and quickest possible way. I didn't take those path (not that those path never came to me). I chose the hard path. I am in that path now. Maybe, in about 10 years of time, it might seem that I haven't achieved anything and proven useless. But, thats not what it would look like. As it says, everything is relative.

Now sitting here, looking at this small screen of my latptop (which is kinda cute), feeling the cool air all around me, in this fine apartment (fine enough for me) with all these latest gadgets around me, with all the surrounding people who respects me when they talk to me and seeing myself standing at a land that does not belong to my forefather I can say that "I achieved it". 'Cause, in this path of achievement I never accepted a single gesture of help from anyone. Yes, I am gratefull to my parents. If you compare that gratefullness against the responsibilities of every parents' toward their children, then I should call myself lucky. If they were not there, I wouldn't be here. But, thats my parents. They cannot be compared with "ANYONE". I think by now, you know what I am talking about. So I will call it a night and say the ultimate epigram that I am going to digitally engrave here:

I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IT ALL WITH MY SKILLS AND ONLY MY SKILLS. HAVE YOU? ANALYSE THAT.

(Did that sound too vain, or I am just angry with those who gets it easily and pretends nothing happened?)

Yeah I agree... Life is like music... Sometimes its sad, sometimes happy, sometimes moody, sometimes indifferent (just a song), sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all (for me "livina la loca" - I have no idea what heck is he singing about).

How amazing it is when just a few notes of music can sooth your mind..I love music... you give me music 24 hrs a day and i am the most happiest person around..I believe that what ever kind of mood you're in theres a music for it.. i guess life is like that too we all follow a pattern of music..dont you think so to ? ;)

Hmmmm.. Just now installed MovableType. Blogger rocks. The only thing is for Blogger I have no control over the editing interface. In MT, I have. I will start with MT slowly. Decided to create a dumping place for whatever interesting I come accross. Lets see where it goes. Will be doing some customization in MT if I see my mood is permitting me. Did I just say "permitting me"? Oh god, does that mean I allow my mood to rule my actions. Damnnnn... I am doomed.... Oh well, then let it be... BTW, my MT is at: http://movable.mzrahman.com

Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza and pizza.... :) How many PIZZAs make a happy man?

Quote of the moment from me:

He/she who has lost the drive to want more or get more from life, has lost the "life" in him/her. ;)

Quote of the day by ME!!

He who is not grateful & Happy for the good things he has, would not be happy with what he wishes he had......... SO TRUE ;)

Vanity... is it really alarming or inspiring?

Sometimes I just amaze myself with what I can do with colors.... hehehe... am I blowing my own trumpet.. Maybe. But, I like what I can do with colors. I just desinged a theme for the new Horde/IMP webmail interface. My favourite color is lavender. So, I worked on lavender. There are some limitations on what I can do with the interface. The limitations are actually the reasons whether the Horde Authors will accept the theme or not. What I mean is, I could do many things and completely change the look of the webmail, but that would violate the standard to follow while desinging the theme. Anyways, the snapshot of the theme can be found here: http://mzrahman.com/snaps/lavender-snapshot.jpg

Oh man... Some people are always lucky... Everyday, I learn something new about people... the people around me, they teach me so much. Today, I got to learn that no matter how much we sulk, no matter how much we scream saying "nottttt fairrrrrr", no matter how much we become extremist because life was always unfair to us, there are some people who are living a life of easy-go-lucky man. But, the question is why don't they feel the same way we feel? Why don't they get to realise that the reason they are lucky because their parents have worked hard? Maybe, they do realise. And, even after realising that they just pretend not to realise it. Who wants to leave that "Free T-shirt" deal when they are getting it easily? :)

I was trying to create a public wishlist for me :), but unfortunately it seems like that the Genie is stopping me to publish my wishes in public. Hehehe... Actually, I just finished configuring the new Horde Frame Work, where I found that the fabulous Horde developers have kindly added a new module called Wishlist (Genie). I was trying to make it public, but was getting some unusual errors. Also, marked one small bug in the process. I think I will report the bug. Just yesterday, I submitted one bug to Horde on their Comic module with a quickly written patch. But, Chuck (main author of Horde) did not accept it :(. Hehehe... actually, I realised later that I was in a hurry to write the patch (or maybe was wicked to get a '15 mins fame') so I didn't bother to check our the whole Driver and write the code by following the Horde Coding Standard. Anyways, this time I am not even trying to write a patch. I will just report the bug. Or, on the other hand.... ehhhh... I might dig into the code a bit. Its fun to see how the Gurus of PHP are coding. :)

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. Sooo true...:)

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day. <--- hahahahah.... oh man... this guy is gooodd....

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. <-- definitely a good one. ;)

To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistake is even more human; in fact it is downright natural. Hahahaha... how true...

These are simply good (given by Sanjay):

1) Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

2) Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

3) Coca-Cola was originally green.

4) It is impossible to lick your elbow.

5) 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

6) If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"? (just try to find out what is the number)

I enjoyed.... :)

Just got to know a shocking fact: "Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined." Damnnnn.. wish my monthly salary was near his daily, maybe hourly income..... I also found out searching that "Nike paying workers in countries such as Malaysia $1.60 a day for making shoes, while selling the newest Air Jordan's for $150 a pair"... so that just adds it..... Boy we are still in the same age of slavery... just sophisticated slave....:)

I am alone.... I am alone... I am alooooooonnnnnneeeeeeee........

All of a sudden I thought of making a special marinade sauce to grill some chicken wings today. So, the first thing that I did was start looking for recipies in the Internet. But, the recipies that I found were not good enough, 'cause they include all sorts of complicated ingrediants that I won't be able to find out in the market without my baby's help. :) So, I decided to make my own mariande sauce. I just mixed BBQ sauce, soya sauce, chilli sauce, ketchup, white cookig wine, lime, salt, onion and garlic past and water to make the marinade sauce and marinated the chicken wings for about 2/3 hours in the fridge. So, when I was done with the grilling, I found that the chicken wings do not taste bad at all. In fact, they taste very nice. Better than my previous marinated chickens. :) I realised I should do these kind of things more often.

Just today the immigration lady made me realise that I was giving inconsitant information in the immigration forms i.e. my education is finishing on 1999 and I started working fulltime in a company on 1998. So, it was kinda "blur" to her. Well, I bet some people will understand that it is indeed possible to persue your education fulltime and doing a job fulltime given the fact that the employer is flexible. My employer was way too flexible. I was in charge of the company that my employer was setting up. So, that gave me more benefits. Like, I really didn't have any hard and fast time table for my job. I used to goto office whenever I was free. I used to goto office in the evenings also and stayed in the office till 12 AM or even 2 AM. Thats of course when I had some jobs to finish. I remember many days staying back in the office cause it was too late and I had to come back to the office in the morning or goto university for classes. I used to sleep with all the servers and machines. Crazy, huh! Well, at that time I was full of motivation and youth. On top of that, my boss made sure that I feel comfortable. He even bought me a car. I was obviously paying for the car but with an interest free installment arrangement. Now, looking back to that state of my life, I really wonder, was it a good choice to leave the job. Well, sometimes when you have all the things in your life that you want, you still feel empty. In my case, I had all kind of benefits and even you can call it a dream job. But, the reason I left the job is completely moral. Yes, you can call it a "moral predicament". Also, I really wanted to experince working in other countries and see how does it feel to be a normal employee.

Nothing much happened in my boring life in the past 24 hours. Seems like, I am going to die of bordem. Office is the only exciting thing that I have. "Exciting" because it relates to my passion. Or else, maybe I won't be here breathing. Anyways, its really fun to realise and know that people shows interest at you whenever they see a potential benefit for themselves. I realised that today. Some people are just downright selfish. No matter, how much you brain wash them, that selfish dirt never goes away from their head. So, I am wondering now, should I treat these people as dirt also or not. Hell, I don't give a F*ck to them. They can go ssenhsifles ykcoc rieht ot noitacided a sa tohs gnineve rof me evah dna eeffoc toh ni sllab nikcuf rieht pid.

The SARS. Singapore government has gone lunatic on this. Today, I went to collect my renewed Employment Pass and they held my passport and asked me to come back after 2 and half hours instead of giving me the EP immediately. Aparently, the reason is, I went out of Singapore (to my own country) and came back by 6th of April. After a series of talk which I overheared from the immigration officers, I realised that they decided to do some digging out on me before they can issue me the EP. Not to mention, I had to fill out a SARS declaration form before I could even go into the counters. Its a good effort. Very very good effort. Actually, thats what makes me feel more safe living in Singapore. I heard in the TV yesterday that WHO said "If Singapore cannot control SARS, then nobody can!!!" Thats a very strong statement.

I will be watching Wrestle Mania 9 now. I like it cause it entertains me in a silly way. maybe my inner beast likes to watch it...:o (may be I wanna beat the s*it out of everyone who is lucky...)

Today in the afternoon, I went hystirical. I guess its the result of living alone. 26 years of my life, I never spent more than 1 or 2 hours alone except the fact that I was sleeping. I was always surrounded by people. People that loves me. People who would die for me. Although I used to spend most of my time in my room, every now and then I used to get my mum's febulous cooking treats, or maybe my nephew coming and asking something or maybe somebody screaming at someone downstairs or something or the other is happeing around the house or my friends/my loved ones kept me always busy with their attention and love. I guess that never made me feel what is loneliness, how ugly loneliness can be. I thought I was always alone and i can handle this... But thats wrong. I wasn't alone. Now, when I don't get to talk to anyone for about 72 hours, then I realise what treatment I got from those who loves me... I think I got to realise that I am helpless without them... Thats why maybe I went more lunatic today....

I think I am bored. :(

Morning realisation - yes, let me call this my morning relisation :). Right when I got up from sleep, I realised that I have only ONE reason to keep hanging on to this Lah Lah Land (Singapore).

Another day of my life ends. What have I achieved today? NOTHING!

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip

-- Eminem (Loose yourself)

I think I will go capture it now... ;)

I like the line "Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not" in the "Loose Yourself" song of Eminem. Thumbs up Eminem, you're my mothafuckin GURU. :)

Yesterday, when I was about to finish my office day with a smile, something just pissed me off so badly that I could feel the heat around my ears when I was in the bus. All along I had this stupid notion in me that people are born to help other people out. Other people who you don't even know much. I had this beliefe that if I continue to do that then that makes me a better person. Well, at least I got myself convinced that there is no harm doing that. But, today I realised that may be I should not help them unconditionally. Maybe, I should use them. Or, on the other hand, maybe I should not at all expect that I would get something in return from them. But, all I wanted was a little gratitude, a little acknowledgement from them which would make them more humane than ever. Later, I got to realise that maybe its supposed to be in this way. In the path of mysterious life you and me will be helping others all the time. Maybe, we were born with this f*cken quality of helping others without f*cken expecting anything in return.

Just realised that I have to take control of my own life. Somehow, this fooking life is treating me null. Every now and then I get deprived of everything that I want in my life. If I scream and say "NOT FAIRRRR", that s*it just keeps coming back at me. Rambling, ain't I? Well, this place supposed to be for rambling around. ".tihs ym ,ekil tnod uoy fi kcid ym kcus nac uoy oS".

Just finished installing, configuring and updating the new windows in my laptop. Phewww, that was one tidious job that I hate. But, didn't have any choice. 'Cause the lappy was full of garbage and it was getting the famous "Microsoft Blue Screen of DEATH" too often. Now, have to start the 2nd phase, installing the programs I need regularly. I think I will do that after a hot bath and some rest and of course with a hot cup of coffee. Till then, Adios folks.